In this Episode:
While I don’t have children of my own, throughout life I have always been surrounded by children and young adults. Also, as a former wounded and dysfunctional child who’s spent much of my adult life in self-reflection to heal, I’ve learned how critical it is to a child’s success for them to be intentionally guided through the process of growing up. All children must be taught how to behave, what to value, how to express emotion in healthy ways, and how to respectfully treat themselves, other people and all life. And, I know children learn by watching the actions of those individuals they are exposed to.
Loving Strangers is a Powerful Love Indeed
I was standing at an intersection waiting to cross and noticed a young homeless man pushing a shopping basket filled with his belongings. He had a beautiful dog with him. Then I saw an older, well-dressed man approach the young man and kneel down to pet the dog. The young man was beaming. The dog’s tail was wagging so fast I thought it would fly off, and the older gentleman was smiling from ear to ear. When he stood up I saw him hand the young man some money. They exchanged a handshake, and with one last pat on the dog’s head the older man turned and walked away.
When I crossed the street I caught up to the older gentleman and said, “That was a very kind thing to witness. Thank you for what you did.” He smiled. I smiled. For several days after I had a delightful feeling from witnessing such a loving act.
Love is more than a romance or devotion. Love is the state of aligning your behavior with the positive values of heart. Loving yourself and others is expressing behaviors like sensitivity and forgiveness. To love is to be patient, honest and enduring.
Each time you behave positively, regardless of how any other person chooses to act, you are aligned with the higher, wiser part of your being. When you behave in ways that align with your heart you create a life of joy and profound meaning.
RYS 124: God, Absolutely Why Not Me!
In this Episode:
Jobs end. Relationships end. We don’t get what we want when we want it. An inconsiderate driver cuts us off. We encounter a traffic jam. Our job becomes very demanding. The line at the post office is out the door. A check we mail never arrives. We are diagnosed with a life-threatening illness. Challenge is part of life. You cannot escape being inconvenienced or having to deal with unexpected and unwanted circumstances but you sure do have power over your attitude about what happens in life.
We’re Powerful When We Want to Be
When I was 21 I was briefly locked up in a psychiatric hospital. I became severely depressed. At least that is what I was told I was. Deep inside I knew my depression was the result of no longer being able to outrun the personal issues I had struggled with all of my life. Without anyone to confide in and nowhere to turn for help I retreated inward as an act of desperate self-preservation.
At the time I considered life too unbearable to continue. So the answer as professionals saw it was to medicate me and slap a variety of labels on my condition. But that only served to further distance me from a real solution to my underlying problem – self-acceptance.
While I cannot speak for everyone I have learned many things about the variety of reasons we get lost in the limitations of our mind. With our lives moving at ever faster speeds we are often too quick to reach for a drug, or to give up on ourselves, or to isolate ourselves in an attempt to cope. For me, healing began in earnest when I stopped looking for answers to repair my heart from someone or something outside me. As long as I continued to give my power away to other people to fix my life, to accept me as I was, or to validate my existence, my life remained broken.
While one size does not fit all when we speak about moving past depression and traumatic issues, I feel it is important to remember our soul is the force that helps us overcome many challenges we tell ourselves we cannot. While physical and emotional trials are very real, so is our soul’s power to move us past them. For me and countless others who have taken our power back we simply want to share our experience of how powerful we truly are when we truly want to be.
RYS 123: Why Do You Do What You Do?
In this Episode:
For many years I was unaware of the emotions, attitudes and rationalizations that drove my negative, addictive and hurtful behavior. One day I came to the realization life would never change for the better until I changed for the better. Only by taking responsibility for the thought patterns that drove my behavior did I overcome my excuses for continuing hurtful, ego-driven and unproductive action.
Can’t Respect Others and Trash Talk at the Same Time
Recently a man came to my door canvassing for a local politician who is running for state assembly. He spoke for a few minutes about the candidate’s qualifications and handed me a flyer. He asked if he could tell his candidate that he has my vote. I told him I wanted to investigate the man further, to do my own research, so I can make the most informed decision. He then began to bad mouth his candidate’s opponent. At that point I politely but firmly said, “Thank you for stopping by but I believe one of the most important things we must all work toward, whether it is in politics or in everyday life, is to deal with our differences by responsibly striving to reach common ground through behaving in courteous and respectful ways rather than stooping to tearing one another down.”
We are doing ourselves and our society a great disservice by allowing trash-talking as normal with the egocentric rationalizations of ‘everyone is doing it or this is just the way things are done. It does not feel good to be on the receiving end of or to listen to it, and it causes us to lose focus on the issues ultimately impacting us all.
Honestly, is condoning this type behavior as normal the legacy we want to leave our children? Not if we want them to live in a better world than we are. We are ones who must demand that tearing others apart who we disagree with or who we want to beat at something, stop. We are strongest as individuals and as societies when we support one another in striving to be people of the best character possible – respectful, courteous, honest, supportive, cooperative, responsible, etc.
Imagine how the world will change for the better when all of us who are followers of any faith or higher belief system join together to treat others as we want to be treated. Imagine how much better we will feel about ourselves and others. Imagine how we will all begin to heal when we take the negative put-downs, tear-downs and trash-talk out of our conversations.
RYS 122: You are Powerful to Heal a Painful Past
In this Episode:
Within your human form is a wise, loving and healing energy. No matter what you experience in life, you can heal, you can overcome a negative past, you can forgive the actions of others, and your actions, to live in peace with the present. Allowing the strength of soul to be your guide prevents unnecessary suffering and strengthens your ability to successfully face and overcome any challenge.
What You Can do For Your Country
I trust, like me, you are repulsed by the stagnation and business as usual nastiness within our political system and the election process. I hope you are exasperated by the futility of stubbornly continuing down the same road of two-party divisiveness while expecting unified results. I imagine your sensibilities are offended by repulsive remarks as candidates full of a foolish amount of pride attempt to distract us from their clear lack of dignity and ability to propose tangible and cooperative solutions to the issues we face.
Whether in business, relationships, or resolving our differences, you and I create the most success and fulfillment by regulating ourselves with the principles of heart. We listen to one another to understand and work to achieve positive associations based on respect and team-work. The same is true for fashioning an effective democracy. Without valuing responsibility, solidarity, honesty, and respect, politicians and citizens can easily fall victim to a combative, self-interested, standstill.
Therefore, you and I as citizens have the responsibility to do everything within our power to make certain we do not elect bullies, liars, thieves, and casters of blame. We must reject those who shun personal responsibility, ego-box for sport, and avoid coming to the table with feasible solutions to the issues we face. We must refuse to side with anyone who is comfortable with Washington’s misuse of power, dissention, and its reward of rulers.
To change our nation we must identify and support honorable men and women of personal morality and integrity who encourage principled excellence among their colleagues and constituents. They engage in inclusive dialogue and work to establish cooperative relationships for all stakeholders including those who are least privileged. They appreciate the importance of having a big picture view to design long-term plans of tangible strategic action to achieve shared goals. And, they self-reflect to improve, to assume responsibility for their actions, and to maintain as great a level of operating transparency as possible.
President John F. Kennedy said, “Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country.” What we voters can do for our country is be political, by caring to elect qualified candidates who have respectfully and with integrity shown us their principled heart.
RYS 121: I Love You
In this Episode:
What does “I love you” mean to you? Have you ever stopped to really think about it? Until I did think about it, I said “I love you” without really knowing the depth of emotional responsibility associated with those three words. Love is caring and affection so “I love you,” means we cherish the person on the receiving end of our fondness. And, to feel real I learned “I love you,” needs to be backed up with consistent positive action.
A Self-less Valentine’s Gift for Your Valentines
It has been hard watching our beloved Celine Dion suffer over the death of her husband of 21 years, Rene Angelil, followed two days later by the death of her brother Daniel Dion. We empathize with her loss because we too have experienced the death of loved ones. Many of us don’t think of preparing to pass away, but we should. Rene Angelil did prepare, leaving Celine and the children with all his affairs in order as a final act of love for them.
To truly love another is to do everything within our power to prevent what suffering we can beforehand. We don’t allow our thoughts to create the fantasy it won’t happen to us. Yes, someday, something will happen to us. Loving others means we have the responsibility to tend to the business side of love to prevent those we care for uncalled-for misery.
I don’t know the legal requirements for the country in which you live so please do your own research to be prepared to help prevent your loved ones additional heartbreak. I am familiar with what steps you can take as residents of the United States.
1. Create what is called a “last will and testament” – a document stating your final wishes, what you want done with your property, house, car, belongings, pets, etc. You can write a will yourself, or you can hire a lawyer to write one for you. If you write one yourself, you’ll want to find a good will template, available on the internet, to help you. Make sure to include a guardian for your children. If you have children with special needs consult an attorney.
2. Decide who will pay your bills, deposit checks, manage your financial affairs, and your business if you have one. This can be done through giving someone what is called “durable power of attorney.” Choose a trustworthy and honest person to manage your affairs if you become sick and unable to do so yourself. The form to legally name a durable power of attorney is also available online.
3. Create an “advanced-care directive,” or what is called a “living will” that gives someone you totally trust the medical power of attorney to carry out your wishes about medical treatment at the end of life. This is a very important document to have in place. Your husband, wife or partner may clearly know your wishes but your parents can block them from carrying out your wishes if you do not have an advanced care directive in place. These forms are also available online.
4. Plan your funeral or memorial service and how you want your body disposed of. Don’t just leave it up to those you love to figure it out after you’re gone. It is hard enough to go through the death of a loved one without the additional stress of them trying to figure out what you want. Write a letter of instruction for your loved ones to follow.
5. Consider purchasing Term Life Insurance to help make sure your spouse, partner, and children have financial support after you pass away. Think about how much they will need to pay off a mortgage, car note, outstanding credit cards, and funeral and burial expenses. Also consider future education expenses for children. Look into this online to find a policy with a reputable company that will provide you peace of mind should your family need this type of financial support. The younger you are the less expensive Term life insurance is.
6. Further help your loved ones by keeping a folder or safe deposit box with important papers such as a marriage license, divorce papers, authorization to release health care information, vehicle titles, property deeds, and life insurance policies. Make a passwords document with a list of bank accounts, location of safe deposit boxes, and any letters of instruction about your wishes for a funeral or life-celebration.
You cannot prevent the pain your loved ones will feel when you pass away. But you sure can take every action now to make certain their pain of loss is not compounded by your lack of being prepared. Today, begin taking action to help protect the heart of the people you care for. Your loved ones will truly appreciate you having the business side of love in order as a last gift of love to them.