Many years ago, I dated an alcoholic. I did not recognize the condition in the beginning, but over time it became clear as the incidents of intoxication began to add up. After each occurrence there was an apology, a request for forgiveness, and a promise it would not happen again. No matter how much I wanted the drinking to stop, it did not. No matter how much I prayed for follow-through on the promise to seek help, there was none. For too long I chose to believe what was promised, rather than accepting the repeated actions as proof of what was actually true.
For a long time I believed I was stuck with the choices I made. No matter how bad the mistreatment I just couldn’t leave the person I’d promised to stay with. Yet one day I realized that remaining loyal to someone who thought it was okay to hurt the one they said they loved was actually allowing myself to be abused. I did not create a better life by thinking I was stuck. In fact, the resentment and anger I felt was growing bigger with each passing day. That is when I chose to let go, to leave, to release us both from the constant arguments, blame, and disappointment.
Whether it is a friendship, primary or work relationship you are not stuck with the decisions you make. You do, however, have the responsibility to be honest with yourself about the reality of your current situation. You also are responsible to learn as much as you can from the choices you make that you now wish were different.
At one time, I worked for a shady organization. I caught my boss stealing money from a fundraising event I designed but he took credit for. He was also accused of sexually assaulting a fellow employee, plus a variety of other offenses. Management refused to address the issues because the higher-ups were guilty of the same things.
Each day it became more difficult for me to go to work. My heart actually hurt when I walked into the office. One day I could not stand it anymore. No matter how much I needed the money, I refused to sell myself short any longer. The moment I decided to quit, some wonderfully positive energy seemed to align itself with me. Yes, it was a hard decision but it lead to an easier life. Within a month, a great position working with good people came along. The energy I put out attracted similar energy.
From experience I can promise you, one of the best ways to avoid problems and make life easier is to learn to trust and act upon the protective wise whispers of your heart. It is not fearful but confident, not angry but calm, not confused but sure, not stressful but peaceful. Your intuitive information is always supportive and positive like the truthful guidance of a wise and trusted friend. It will guide you in making the hard decision so life becomes easier.
RYS 048: How to Help Protect Your Heart (podcast) http://romancingyoursoul.com/rys-048
You Are Who You Hang With [Video]