Author: regina

Emotional intelligence – my definition: the ability to put ourselves in the shoes of other people with empathy and respect – is a gift from God given to each soul. But, like any skill we must practice, practice, practice to master leading with heart, rather than being led by a judgmental and fearful mind.

Our thoughts create our behavior. Our behavior creates our life. Therefore, mastering a mind with a mind of its own is a responsible thought by thought focus. When we remain in touch with what we are thinking and why (the emotional motivation behind our thoughts – fear, anxiety, judgment, frustration, blame, control, arrogance, domination) we can change negative, limited thinking to positive and loving so we honor God for giving us the precious gift of emotional intelligence.

In order to benefit from the emotional intelligence God asks us to use, to do no harm and to create our best life, it is necessary to educate ourselves to know what is happening in the world. We cannot be insulated with our own thoughts and beliefs. We cannot rely on the group think that is generated by the thoughts and beliefs of our immediate circle of like-minded friends and family or churches. Simply because others believe as we do does not mean we are right or that our decision and actions will not harm ourselves or others.

To make good decisions we must have information that challenges our thoughts so we can discover thoughts and beliefs that do not truly align with OUR HEART! Challenging what we think and why we think it helps keep our heart open so we follow the divine’s direction of treating other people as we want to be treated.

I realize we all make mistakes and that it often takes time for us learn so we don’t make the same hurtful mistakes again. It certainly took me time to appreciate the vital importance of being responsible for each of my thoughts, words and actions. However, I learned one crucial lesson the first time my words hurt someone, which I share in painful detail in my first book – Lead with Your Heart, Creating a Life of Love, Compassion and Purpose.

Briefly the lesson I learned is that gossip, slander and character assassination are completely irresponsible and were signs of my emotional and spiritual immaturity. Now, this is a lesson each of us needs to learn if we are to move ourselves toward a peaceful world and fix what is wrong in our politics and with society in general.

Each day we hear countless people tearing others down in an attempt to build themselves up. There are also people who listen to and allow themselves to be influenced by negative trash-talk, hate speech, and slanderous attacks on someone seen as a political or social rival. Then there are people who do not question the credibility of those who spread conspiracy theories, or racist, homophobic, divisive, xenophobic, propaganda.

Does anyone actually believe Jesus would think purveyors of gossip and slander offer something worth listening to? They offer nothing  of value to our society. Their agenda is one of sowing discourse and distraction. And some get paid to spread their trash talk.

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I don’t believe in Satan. But I do believe in the evil that results when a human being has been completely consumed by unfeeling and uncaring ego.

Personal importance, fear, quests for riches, irrational delusions, and an unending appetite for attention and power over other people drowns out all moral and spiritual guidance.  Of course the guidance is still there, but, without a willing and open heart we cannot hear God whisper truth, wisdom and direction because we’re too busy listening to and feeding ego.  An ego left unchecked becomes exceedingly clever, eventually directing us to completely ignore and act upon the wise, respectful and empathetic advice of our heart.

This battle between good (soul) and evil (egocentric thought) is one with which each and every human on earth wrestles. Each day, in countless ways, we are tested.  That’s why it is important to master an unfeeling mind with a mind of its own with the simple guidance of – treat other people as you want to be treated. Ego’s desire for domination cannot survive when heart is brought forward to consider what is also best for others too.

By Tim Moody

When I was a boy, I was loved by the sweetest women in the world. My Mom, of course, beautiful in every way was one. Smart, devoted, lovingly and fiercely protective of her family. But then also, on my Dad’s side, there was my grandmother, Maude, whom I called Nana. Quiet and reserved, small and lovely, she was a tender presence. By my Aunt Laura, who was fun and beautiful with a contagious laugh, generous and open hearted. By my Aunt Mary, tiny and petite, poised and gracious. By Aunt Florida, snow white hair and the most winsome smile, a deeply self-confident woman.

On my mother’s side, there was my grandmother, Ruby, whom I called Momo. Quite simply, a saint. I adored her. My great-grandmother, Joanna, whom I called Gammy. A gifted pianist, the first female American Indian graduate in the school of music at Bacone College. Her embrace was arms of love. And there were my Aunt Emerald and my Aunt Jackie, wonderful women of grace and affection.

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Gratitude is immensely powerful to keep our focus on all that is going right in our lives. For instance, I am so grateful to the people who take care of my trash and recycling. I put it out and they take it away. That truly rocks!

I am grateful for police and firefighters. These women and men have chosen to put their lives on the line for you and me. Overall these fine public servants truly rock!

I am grateful that I can go to the corner store to get fresh food. I am grateful to live in a warm apartment. I am grateful to feel love and to love.

I truly believe the quality of the life we create is directly related to the depth of our level of gratitude. For the small things that make life easier. For the people who help make life easier. And for the love that makes life worth living. Each of the people who positively impacts us is an #AmbassadorOfLove. I am grateful to be surrounded by them.

Dealing with physical pain over a long period of time wore me down. After a while, life was dull. I found less joy in daily activities, and the constant discomfort kept me on edge. Every day I woke up focused on the pain. Each evening I went to sleep wishing something would change.

When I received news that my twenty-nine-year-old cousin had been killed in an automobile accident, I experienced a dramatic shift in the way I viewed life. Physical pain turned into a positive sign that I was still alive. It was surprising to discover how much my pain decreased when my focus changed from living in pain to appreciating the life I had.

After being downsized from a job, I faced the daily temptation to just give

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My friend Sydney and I only get to see each other once a week. So, we only have a few hours to be together. Recently when I arrived she leaped up to give me a huge hug which felt fantastic. After a few minutes of catching up she immediately went back to playing with her iPad.

So I asked Sydney to pay attention to me rather than her iPad. She began to cry. After a long time and several attempts to find out why she was upset I finally figured out she was upset because she thought I was angry with her. I held her hand and assured her I was not angry. But friends must be honest with one another and I told her I felt that technology was more important to her than spending time with me.

I am not a parent but I recently interviewed a parent about the dangers she witnesses of technology negatively impacting her children’s ability to have healthy and respectful interaction with others.  This is something I feel each parent must stay on top of because we don’t want to create a generation of young people who cannot talk to or relate to one another. We don’t want our children to think machines that don’t feel are more important than human beings and animals that do feel.

Sydney and I are okay because we talked it out. Which is another important aspect about relationships that we must teach children. When something upsets us we cannot just sweep it under the rug or refuse to share our feelings. We have to be honest with one another. Which is exactly the relationship Sydney and I are working to build.

By Tim Moody

I saw a decal on the back of an SUV the other day. It read: “Not of this World” and had a Christian cross underneath it. I never have understood this concept. Years ago when I was a minister I used to wrestle with the idea Christians are somehow not supposed to be of this world. What are we supposed to be, aliens? As often happens I think those passages of scripture that mention that phrase are misunderstood. Jesus once said his kingdom was not of this world. But that was clearly a reference to how he dealt with life as opposed to how the Roman Empire handled it.

He came from love; they came from fear. His approach was acceptance; theirs was suspicion. His mission was peace; theirs was domination.

St. Paul used the phrase in one of his letters. He often spoke out of his harsh background of persecuting Christians. I think sometimes Paul pushed too hard. People who have had unhealthy, scarred, abused, intemperate pasts often use their religious beliefs in the extreme. They overcompensate for their previous behavior by trying to keep everything in the present, structured and under control. Paul had those moments.

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I was behind my apartment and saw a young man intentionally throw a glass bottle in the middle of the alley. As soon as he realized I saw him, he ran away.  I walked to where the broken bottle was and picked up as many pieces as I could and threw them in the dumpster.

As I returned to my apartment I wondered why he would do such a thing. Why would he want to cause upset to someone who gets a flat tire or possibly pain and injury to a pet that may step on the broken shards? And, maybe he did not think about the consequences of his actions. Perhaps he just shattered the bottle as a joke or because he was bored.

We are all at different levels of awareness about how the actions we take impact others. I am so grateful to have learned what I put out comes back to me.  I’m glad I care because no matter what anyone else does I am completely responsible for my thoughts, words, attitudes, and actions.

We cannot control or change anyone but ourselves. So the way for us to move past the unconscious actions of others, is to do everything within our power to right the wrongs we see.  No one has to know or see the actions we take, like picking up the broken glass. God sees. And that is most important.

My father is almost 95 years old. He went to the local grocery store. As he was leaving he found the flat crosswalk at the store entrance blocked by a huge pick-up truck that parked illegally right in front of the doors.

My dad saw a man get out of the truck and said to him, “Excuse me, this is a no parking zone. Can you please move your truck so we can safely go around?”

The guy responded, “You just take care of your groceries old man and I’ll take care of how I park.”

My fragile old father was forced to go over a big curb with his shopping cart because the man would not move his truck.

I know exactly what you’re thinking. My egocentric pride reactively thought the same thing.  How dare the man treat my dad so rudely? Who does he think he is? How can anyone behave with such calloused entitlement and

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