Month: January 2014

There is a perception those who live a spiritual life are submissive and must turn the other cheek regardless how we are treated. While tolerance, patience, cooperation, forgiveness, and peacefulness are behaviors of living aligned with soul, so is standing up for what is right. To respectfully but firmly set boundaries is spiritually responsible because boundaries bring a higher level of awareness to the situation than that which created it in the first place.

There was a time when I believed things brought me happiness.  I spent way too much money surrounding myself with objects. But no matter how much stuff I had, my heart was still heavy and I was unfulfilled.  One day I realized things could not ever give me satisfaction or heal the emotional holes in my heart. I realized that things often had the opposite effect.

I was stressed and in debt from buying too many things.  My house was cluttered and so I was distracted and felt emotionally drained being surrounded by so much stuff.

Something I did to improve my mood and sense of well-being was to clean out and maintain clean spaces. This was and remains especially important since I live in a world where collecting seems to be a widespread obsession.

Over the course of a few months I picked up every object in my home and asked myself how I was impacted by it. Some of the items stored unpleasant memories. Keeping them around made me uncomfortable. If I did not love it or need it, or it did not uplift my heart, I gave it away.

Taking an emotional inventory of my possessions shifted something inside me. Releasing many of my “things” created a beneficial change in some long-held patterns about what really mattered and made me content. Cleaning up my outer environment helped me clean up my inner environment.

This week, take an honest inventory of your surroundings.  Are your living spaces (home, office, car, garage, storage shed, attic, etc.) clean and neat?  Or are they an unorganized and cluttered mess?  If so, how does it feel to be surrounded by so much stuff?  What objects are truly precious and which ones hold bad memories? Clean out, give away, or sell anything that is not necessary or does not bring you deep emotional satisfaction. Maintaining clean spaces will help you discover the truth of the saying, “Less (distractions, negative energy, clutter) is more (peace, satisfaction, and fulfillment).”

A big misconception we have about relationships is that we have the power to change someone else. If we’re more understanding, patient, loving, open, scream louder, say it in a different way, etc., then he or she will wake up and behave better.  If it were that easy you could wave a magic wand and the world would transform overnight. The truth is, each of us must admit there are things about our behavior that need changing. Then we need to take the actions necessary to create positive change.

You and I “wake up” through the process of our own inner deliberation. We question our thoughts, words and actions to honestly discover what WE, not someone else, are doing that is causing us to treat ourselves and others badly. This same process of self-evaluation is necessary for all of us to identify hurtful behavior, become emotionally responsible for our actions, and make positive changes to ourselves.

This week when you run into people who are rude, or want to start a fight, or who argue, blame and bully, take a deep breath and slowly count to five.  Give yourself time to stop your ego from impulsively wanting to box. Take five seconds to find your heart-center. Let the positive behaviors of love move you past ego.  Have compassion for those who have not yet found the courage and self-love to look honestly at their behavior.

Refuse to fight fire with fire. Bring a higher spiritual awareness to the situation by staying positive and you will walk away peaceful. And, while you behave positive for you, your kindness and peace may get others to look at their own behavior.  That is the power love has to bring a different level of awareness to the situation than what created it.  BE LOVE.